Kristine Gunn — Single Christian Women

When Life is Curly

August 19, 2010 By Kristine Gunn Leave a Comment

Single Christian Women I’ll never forget the day I realized what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was 18 years old, attending a local college event, when Kathy Alls changed my life. It was an “aha” moment like no other. Kathy was a motivational speaker – and from the moment she walked on stage, a dream was born and a calling identified. It was the seed that started the journey of self development and a tug on my heart that would not let go. From that day forward, I devoured any and every personal development book, tape, seminar I could get my hands on (and afford).

Fast forward many, many years later (more than I like to count!) and that dream was fulfilled. In my mid 20’s I worked directly for motivational giant, Tony Robbins. Tony taught me how to push the edges of my potential and reach for greatness in every moment. It was exhilarating – and exhausting all at the same time. I left Tony Robbins to form a seminar company with my soon-to-be husband whom I met through Tony. From there, I began speaking, coaching and training for Fortune 100 – Fortune 1000 audiences across the nation. I was blessed and happy – all because a little seed was planted and a big dream born at a community college years earlier.

I bring all this up … only to tell give you some perspective … You would think … That after all this training, passion and experience, I would “have it all together.” Wouldn’t you? Well, Girlfriends … I have to confess, I’m not always so chipper. Take today for example. The pity party chorus was in full swing this morning. You know the crew … they like to remind you that “you’ll never find the right guy, that whole God thing is over rated, you are basically a loser, and in fact, your life is going nowhere fast.” YIKES … Will someone please pass a tissue?

How about you? Ever wake up in the morning with the boo hoo crew? We all do. The game changing difference however, is knowing what to do with the crew. Here are 7 tips for drowning out the negative noise and embracing a whole new tune - pronto!

Reflect on the thoughts that are giving you your life right now. (Sounds like, “you’ll never meet anyone, you are too intense, you need to get out more, what are you going to do with that debt, what’s with those thighs and when are you going to get a real job” yada, yada, yada!)
Now that you’ve given the crew the stage, it’s time to boot them out! It’s time to renew your thinking by focusing fervently on the enormous promises of God. Ignore the world’s view and declare what He says about you…

“Thank you God that my best days are ahead of me and not behind me. Thank you that you are crazy about me regardless of what the world may think. Thank you that you are blessing me with increase, favor and new levels of growth today. Your word says when I seek you with all my heart, you will give me the desires of my heart. Thank you God that you are fulfilling my desire for a Godly man and husband. Thank you that my finances are completely handled and I am a lender and not a borrower … (fill in the blanks!)

Pray boldly, eagerly, unceasingly.
Take life by the mane and refuse to be a victim.
Choose to be radically joyful. Yes, choose joy.
Thank God that each day is a new canvas for your life. You are brand new today brimming with unstoppable potential.
If it feels like nothing is happening, know that God is using this quiet time to work behind the scenes on the abundant life He has planned for you!

Girlfriends, we all have bad days. The secret is knowing what to do about it. When your life feels curly and complicated, look to the One who can straighten it out!”

May you be enormously blessed today and always …

Filed Under: Christian Women Tagged With: coaching, self improvement, success, Tony Robbins

Are Your Prayers Too Wimpy?

August 17, 2010 By Kristine Gunn 1 Comment

Time to Super Charge Your Prayer Life!

Settling in after a particularly messy move from one residence to another this weekend, I ran across a great book and a simple idea that I haven’t stopped thinking about over the past two days. The idea is from a delightful book called, “Get Married, What Women Can Do To Help It Happen” by Candice Watters. In the book the author suggests that, “it’s one thing to pray for a husband. But what would it look like to pray boldly, fervently, ceaselessly? And how would that kind of prayer affect the outcome?”

Have you done that?

As someone that is not blessed with singleness, I had to ask myself, have I done that? Have I prayed passionately, expectedly, unceasingly? Or, have I been too embarrassed to admit that I want a husband, or has time and one too many breakups left me resigned and slightly doubtful that God really does have a husband for me?

Then it hit me … This small minded doubtful thinking could be constricting the blessing – and the husband that God has waiting for me in my life. Scripture says, “You have not because you ask not.” In other words, if you pray little you’ll receive little. So let’s do the math here … WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? God says that when we seek Him with all of our hearts, He will give us the desires of our heart. Last I checked, there wasn’t a bible footnote that mentions, “husbands excluded from this offer.” Girlfriends, it’s time to drop the doubt and get SERIOUS about praying for a Godly husband starting now! 

Proof that Prayer Works …

Later in the “Get Married” story, the author shares an inspiring story about a single woman that decided to “get serious” about this business of praying for a husband. Here is what she did (genius idea!) … she emailed all of her unmarried friends who desired marriage – 30 in all – and asked everyone on the list to pray for every other woman on the list, and asked them to join. Over the period of a year, the women shared their dating joys and failures, fears, prayers and challenges, and it worked! One year later, out of thirty women, six were married or engaged to be married, and one was dating.” 6 months after that, six of the women were married, five were engaged, and five were seriously dating. Hello? That’s 50% of the group! Consider what a blessing it would be to pray unceasingly for Godly marriages for the single women in your life?

Will you be bold enough to ask?

Something to Consider:

What is your prayer quotient? Have you prayed boldly enough for a mate if that is what you believe God has called you to? Is there room for greater velocity and power in your prayer?
What concerns to do you have about praying fervently for a husband? Are you willing to let go and let God?
Starting today, make a list of the single women you know that desire a husband. Invite them to join a prayer circle where you pray for each other fervently for the next year. Share your trials, your joys and your successes and pray, pray, pray! Or, if you are in a small group, ask specifically that they pray unceasingly for a husband for you. Tell them this story and share your trials and successes with them. They will love hearing how their faith has blessed you.

I can’t wait to hear about your success stories!

Filed Under: Christian Women Tagged With: christian women, prayer

Beautiful Things Happen When Women Trust God

August 14, 2010 By Kristine Gunn Leave a Comment

I’ve learned to praise God for failure. It wasn’t always that way, but now I get it. Failure isn’t just failure. It’s a sacred opportunity to grow, expand, evolve, learn. And sometimes it’s really painful. Love lost. Divorce. Heartbreak. Rejection. Discouragement. Neglect. It’s there in the agony of those moments, we get a glimpse of God. It’s here we see that our failed pieces are essential. With the tenderness of the heavens, He takes the trauma and hurt and disappointment and turns it into something beautiful, something we never would have been able to create on our own.

“As long as the earth remains, there will be springtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night.” Genesis 8:22

Change is Required

Trusting God completely requires that we let go of the old in order to become something new. It’s like our life begins when we get to the end of ourselves. When we give it all up. Let it all go. (Yes, this includes making things happen, trying, fixing, doing, striving.) When we finally die to having the answer, knowing what to do, being in control. We lose our life, only to find it.

And such is the beauty of God.

Trusting God Begins Within

Do you remember the movie, Chariots of Fire? While I couldn’t give you a play by play of this 1980’s gem, this classic scene from the movie is a potent reminder of the power of faith and the beauty of trusting God’s mystery.

“You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It’s hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape – especially if you’ve got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe your dinner’s burnt. Maybe you haven’t got a job. So who am I to say, “Believe, have faith,” in the face of life’s realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, “Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me.” If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.”

Something to Think About;

In what areas has God used your failures to grow you?
In what areas of life are you fixing, striving and controlling? What if you gave it all to God – trusting Him to handle everything.
What is one small step of faith you can take to commit yourself more deeply to the love of Christ?

Filed Under: Christian Women Tagged With: single christian women, trusting God

From Breakup to Breakthrough

August 6, 2010 By Kristine Gunn Leave a Comment

From Breakup to Breakthrough I’m so inspired by the book, “Drops Like Stars,” by author Rob Bell. One particular part of the book introduces the reader to the concept of “insulators.” I know it sounds like a product to keep things cold, but bare with me – because “Insulators” help us make meaning of our lives. They frame an event, providing context, helping us to determine the meaning of an experience. Here is an example from the book:

“Consider going to the theatre, slipping behind the stage watching various performers stretch their bodies, in tights and slippers? Would you guess you are at the rodeo or the theatre? The theatre of course! The location and time and clothes of this event create a context, helping determine the meaning of the experience for us.

However, if we went to the ballet and everyone was wearing snorkels and we were handed a program by a squirrel we would not know how to place where we were. Because our standard reference points wouldn’t be there to guide us.”

This got me thinking about what happens when a relationship ends. Regardless of how cordial a breakup, we are reminded that things are not the same. What is this? Where do we put this? How do we place it? Because our standard reference points – the usual insulators – are not there to guide us. While in our relationship we had things well planned in our life. We knew what meant what. We had all of our boxes properly organized and labeled. But all of that was disrupted when the ending began.

What now?

The encouraging news is that we have a choice as to how we respond when a relationship completes. As author Rob Bell writes, “So there is what we consider an “out of the box” response – which is often merely a variation of the same thing. And then there are those who think and feel and live and create from a different place. They’ve had their boxes smashed and their insulators dismantled so often they have had no other option but to imagine a totally new tomorrow.”

I’m reminded of my last breakup to a man I was convinced would be my husband one day. When things were good, I used to envision our future life together. Everything felt predictable and comfortable and I knew who I was and where I stood in the relationship. But as things started to unravel, (he stopped calling, texting those sweet messages, checking in to see how my day was going, etc.) And suddenly, nothing felt the same. I had many conversations asking him, “what happened to the way things used to be, I miss the man I fell in love with!) As I look at it, it was the squirrel in the story handing me a theatre program. I had NO frame of reference for what was currently my relationship. Now I know that I was desperately trying to hold on to the insulators that were quickly being dismantled. Knowing this makes all the difference.

Something to Think About:

What are your insulators for relationships? (The predictable habits, patterns, places, that give your relationship meaning that if gone, would leave you confused.)
How do you reinvent yourself when a relationship ends?
Have you ever held onto a relationship too long out of fear of the unknown?

Filed Under: Christian Women

Feeling Empty? Stir Up Your Faith!

August 2, 2010 By Kristine Gunn Leave a Comment

Another Friday night. No date. No prospects. My friends are busy and the kids are tending to their social calendar. Once again, I am alone with the cats and a Weight Watchers lasagna frozen dinner. The sad empty feeling I’ve grown accustomed to these days’ turns into an unwelcome dialogue. “You’ll never find anyone. What a loser you are. You’re getting old. How long since you’ve been on a date? What’s wrong with you, anyway? Why can’t you keep a relationship? Guys like younger women. Good luck finding a Christian guy. They are all married. Look at those thighs.”

Welcome to the voices in my head. Hearing the familiar banter works on my stress level like a pressure valve, and I feel helpless. I give myself to it, and if only for a moment I believe the lies.

Fast forward, now I’m sitting in my favorite chair donning my favorite pink sweats, slippers (the really soft ones) and a steaming cup of tea. Peaceful and calm, I reach for my bible. He knows me. He speaks to me in Holy whispers. He is the Rock strong enough to still the storm that ravages on and on. His strength is predictable, all powerful. I know the sound of His voice. The best is yet to come.

Sneezing from the cat hair on the blanket below, I’m reminded of all of the times I’ve resisted my pain. And yet, I know that God uses our hurts to wake us up to just how much we need Him. Our suffering makes us real and that brings pleasure to God. When we set our striving, worrying, anxiety, at His feet, our vulnerability gives God access to an intimacy that is simply unavailable otherwise.

Girlfriends, surrendering to God is the key that unlocks the door to God’s full blessings. When we give ourselves completely to God, His love cleanses and restores the deepest parts of who we are. Although living a fulfilling life may require us to endure lonely Friday nights, heartbreaks, disappointments, and more, when we stir up our faith and get in agreement with God, He will take us to places we have never been before!

Can I get an Amen?

Thoughts to Ponder:

Where in your life do you need to surrender to God? Finances, relationships, work, kids, parents?
In what ways is God using your pain and striving to transform you?
In what ways do the voices in your head do battle with you?
Write a prayer to Jesus asking Him to be your Rock – the calm in your storm.

Filed Under: Christian Women Tagged With: Faith, peace, relationships, single christian women

Be Bold, Be Beautiful, Be You

July 27, 2010 By Kristine Gunn Leave a Comment

They say I have her eyes but it was the scent of Vo5 in her hair that I remember most. A victim of rage and violence, my mother lost her life at the age of 26 years old in the hands of my stepfather, who never saw her beauty or significance. I was 5 years old when my young life became a “before” and “after” story. “It was the dividing line between seeing the world in black and white and in Technicolor. The lights came on, for the darkest possible reason.” ~ Anna Quindlen

What a difference one day makes.

It took years to piece together the torn fabric of my life. Without a mother or father I felt different, flawed, damaged goods. My high school years were a decent into limbo. People would say to me, “You seem so together” when I felt so apart. Bulimic and broken, my whole life a contradiction between who I was and who I thought I had to be in order to fit in.

Stumbling into adulthood relationships with men, I wanted to believe there was something within me that was needed and needed deeply. Terrified of being abandoned, I did everything I could to keep men in the room of my life. I tried to talk them into staying with me, loving me, calling me, caring about me, staying attached to me. I stayed in relationships far too long because I could not accept that their chapter in my story was over. So I kept trying to revive dead relationships instead of just letting go.

It is so obvious that all of us have suffered, and all of us have made mistakes in life. It does not matter to God. You matter to Him. Whatever trials you have endured in the past, Isaiah 61:7 says that believers will receive double for their shame and for their trouble. If you believe in God, He will open doors that no man can close. He wants you to trust Him to provide what no relationship ever could.

Dear God,

Please lift my heart above the pain of former trials.
Remove from me the thoughts that hold me back.

Make clean my heart, make clear my mind, make new my life.

Amen

(Marianne Williamson, Enchanted Love)

Practical Tips for Navigating Life’s Storms:

Run to Jesus. “Seek ye first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all those things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
Praise Him (there is healing in praise!)
Practice patience. Allow Jesus time to work in your life.

God wants to restore your life completely.

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains …LET THEM GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. God is doing a new thing. Whatever God means for you to have He’ll provide. Be prepared to move to a new level in Him and LET GO!

Points to ponder:

In what area of your life do you need to let someone or some circumstance go?
What is God telling you to do?
What is holding you back from doing it?

Filed Under: Christian Women Tagged With: christian women, dating, love, singles

A Divine Romance Awaits You

June 9, 2010 By Kristine Gunn 1 Comment

If you’re like me, you have navigated through your fair share of heartache, disappointment and more than one Ben and Jerry’s pity party featuring the music of the boo hoo crew!

Why, then, if being alone is supposed to be so good, does it feel so bad? “After all,” as one well intentioned married friend shared, “consider all the extra time you have with God!” “Of course that’s true,” I think to myself. After all, who needs a silly man around the house when an orange tabby cat will do?”

Slowly, (okay very slowly) I have learned to embrace my singleness as the blessing that it is. How about you? While it doesn’t come easy, here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way:

I’ve realized that every moment I spend seeking to build a deeper relationship with God, pays back HUGE dividends.
I have learned that although my challenges are big, my God is bigger and that when I allow Him to lead He takes me to new levels I’ve never dreamed possible.
I’ve learned to hold on tight when life seems most challenging, because that is the time God is getting ready to take me to a new level. Jesus tells us, “Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands .”(Isaiah 43:19, The Message).
Perhaps most importantly (and reluctantly) I’ve learned to be satisfied where I am. As Paul tells us in his letter to the Corinthians, don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status defines your life. 1 Corinthians 7:17, The Message. Can I get an Amen?!

Girlfriends, Jesus knows us and loves us passionately and He wants to be the first lover of your soul, always. Do you believe it? Let’s take a glimpse at this riveting encounter as the author brings this story to life. As you read this and imagine yourself standing there, let the rapture of His love wash over and change you.

By, Nicole Johnson, “Fresh Brewed Life.” (Put this one on your reading list!)

“I had no idea who he was the first time I laid eyes on him. His skin was dark, and he was beautiful. My heart skipped about four beats when he spoke to me. “Will you give me a drink?”

I swallowed hard. He knew that was forbidden. I thought maybe he was testing me to see what I would do. But his eyes gave him away. I knew immediately he wasn’t talking about water. Something inside me stirred, and I had to look away.

When I turned back to him, his eyes were still fixed on me. “If you knew who I am, you would ask me for a drink, and I would give you living water.”

I couldn’t’ breathe. He was offering to give me a drink. The way he was looking at me … “Sir,” I stammered, “you have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep.” “Where can I get this living water?” I asked him slowly, challenging. “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,” he said as he glanced at the well. “But whoever drinks the water I give … will never thirst again.”

You are meant to fill a place in the heart of God no one else can fill. He longs for YOU. You are the one he sings over with delight and longs to dance with across the mountaintops and ballroom floors (Zeph. 3:17) You are the one who takes his breath away.

Girls, it’s time to start believing that with or without a relationship in your life, God is wildly, deeply, madly in love with you. Use your time wisely and consider this time alone a gift that keeps on giving. When you seek a “Kingdom First” life, you will never be the same.

Questions to Ponder:

Have you surrendered your life, your relationships, your dreams and goals to God?
What does it mean to seek a Kingdom First life?
In what ways is God using your singleness to grow and advance you?
On a scale from 1-10, how intimate is your relationship with God?
What will it take to reach an 8 or 9 consistently?

Filed Under: Christian Women Tagged With: christian women, dating, romance, single christian women

What Does Beautiful Mean to You?

June 8, 2010 By Kristine Gunn Leave a Comment

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful” (1 Peter 3:3–5).

I’ve always had a battle with beauty. The persistent voices in my head remind me regularly that I’m too much, not enough, too intense, not attractive enough, not thin enough and for goodness sake, where did that cellulite come from?!

Here is the really great news … While we are busy counting our flaws and imperfections, conforming to the world’s view of beauty, Peter reminds us in 1 Peter 3:3-5 that what we see as broken, God sees as beautiful. Can you imagine? With just one look at you, God is captivated by your beauty. There is nothing you have done or will do that can separate you from His passion for you. Doesn’t knowing this give you a whole new sense of confidence? Consider that despite the world’s view of you, (or the guy who said he would call and didn’t) God is completely smitten with you … Woo hoo!

5 Strategies to Rise from “Bankrupt” to “Beautiful!”

Pray. Turn on some soft music, light a favorite candle, and settle in for some one-on-one with the Lord. Tell him your secrets, dreams and fears. Let his love wash over you.
Serve. When I give up my own petty concerns and focus on seeing the greatness in others, my attitude shifts, my face softens, and suddenly I look and feel more beautiful.
Choose to be grateful. Gratitude is the ultimate elixir for all that ails. Choosing to be grateful for the big and small things in life, especially when life is difficult, transforms your environment. At the end of the day before you go to sleep, write down in your gratitude journal at least 5 things that you are grateful for. Write down all the reasons why to say “thank you God!”
Take a “time out.” Between the craziness of life and the Enemy’s careful maneuvers, quiet time is something that can easily slip out of routine. Refuse to let overwhelm steal your joy, peace and beauty. Create a date with yourself to sleep in, take a nap, browse the bookstore or take in a sunset at the beach (guilt free!) Light a favorite candle and create the space to hear God’s whispers. When you quiet your mind and heart, you open the door for God to share His passion and purpose for your life.
No Guts No Glory. Playing it safe is risky. When we don’t have the guts to step out in faith, God is robbed of the glory that rightfully belongs to Him. Think of every opportunity as God’s gift to you. What you do with those opportunities is your gift to God. When we rise up to the challenges God has designed to transform us, we get in touch with an inner beauty and strength that lies dormant when we rest in complacency.